cruelty of reality

When i came to this wretched place, i believed into making new friends, and more of them...

i was wrong.
as every semester passes, things do not go exactly like what i wanted. instead of going up, it goes down... down to the drain, down to hell..

they say university life is enjoyable. it is a LIE.

every moment i saw this place again, like walking into a river of fire.

i came to make friends,
instead im making more enemies more than friends.




reader,
i know you are reading, with a little smile on your face, a thought of bullshit within your mind.

you dont even care, you read it just for without purpose.
you read it just to know what this is all about.

after closing it, you dont have a feeling of sympathy, no regrets, nothing you will do about it. you dont even care.

like all the creatures of reality, "who cares!"
this is you, you are one of them.
taking advantage from people, leave nothing for them,
they do the dirty work, you claim the glory.

while i am consumed by darkness of the abyss, watching as the world shatters... by the hands of these creatures of reality.

in a village, there is a cave, with endless darkness inside, people pass by without looking or cares what is in the cave.

i am in the cave, surrounded by darkness,by a source of light that is far and shines like a star...

reader, i know , you will not understand what the story is about.
go ahead, close the page, ignore page like the others. nobody understands...

Ruined Morning

Even you thought have a beautiful sunday morning (on the next morning) before you close your eyes, you couldnt even imagine that it was a total opposite.

You should had a good sleep like the days before, but today is different. you cant move freely, you can take it.
You have your arm paralyzed, you can take it.
Even in the beautiful sunday morning and you still being disturbed. you still can take it.
eventually your morning mood spoiled, surprisingly you still can take it.

What a great endurance you have there, o noble one. It seems i have underestimated you.
It wont be long before you will let it all out.

Silent wind, cool air

Finals are coming, a bad omen upon us.
No mood to study.
No class for today, so free, week 14, kinda free week

Being alone in the house for the whole day is very free - you can do whatever you want.
But there is always a bad thing for being alone -> ALONE

When you were buying dinner ALONE out there... you had a thought, the ones you called friends. You are not in their list anymore... even if you find them, you still think again they have their own life.

You are ALONE, in a dark place where a small spotlight on you... feel the cold depth of yourself, and hear the silence like the wind pass by.

Is it every leader is very individual? or you are just a loner?

those who even viewed this post means someone still think about you ... or they just ignore it and leave you babble in your mind?

Today is the day!

At each passing day, my mind for wisdom expands.
For each events i have encountered, i succumb into the effective thinking of infinity and eternity.

When i think about my brother, i think of his life.
When i think about my family, i think about conflict.

For today, i will choose to stand up and break through this conflict and bring peace and harmony to the family.

Even Liu Bei from the royal family have the willingness to restore the Han dynasty.
I too, shall do so as well to bring harmony to the family.

Let virtue and righteousness be my strength and courage!

Lessons

Ugh, after an intense battle with the weather, I have fallen. My body has weaken, my health - taken. Goddamn cold with flu , oh great - FREE! cough add-on. Darn its still on me since sunday. Crap

---------------

Everybody has a lesson in everyday life.
Mine is having a lesson after a painful time.

After some got in lost with traffic in Ipoh, I decided not to get asleep on the back way home. I just know how to get in but not get out. Gotta stay focused on that.

-----

Im not strong enough... im powerless, i have weakened. They just wont stop fighting until everyone is dead. What the hell they are fighting for the money when they too have their own money? Is money really that important until it blinds them away from their brotherhood? One day, sooner or later, it will all end.

Tch, what do they know about family..

----------------

Im done talking, but im not done here.
At this moment, there will a dude talking to my head ,
'dude, stay focus, dont sway... it aint over. just do it. do it.'

Maybe I should raise a bit of flame. You wanna wreck'em ? BURN THEM!!

Haters of life , walks the earth within a wrong path..

As assignments going to be finished. I pledge my loyalty ... to no one.
You see, when your members look down upon you, they never know what you're capable of. Since they have no trust in yourself; so be it.
Just follow orders and just do it to prevent riot among ourselves. If you act by yourself, you'll get all the blame.
that ends there.

Lemme ask you a question.
Is it to follow your dream of near ..... impossibility or follow the traditions of your family bloodline?
it depends.

Does the cruel reality world only thinks about making money to get fame?
Where was the pride and honor of the glory days?
you could show the world that you have the power to show you are capable! But you didnt do it. Fear howls from the one who gave you life to make you silent.

Fiery anger consumes yourself but mind never to be consumed. I walk through the path of doing a favor, like you. When you have the financial foundation to make a choice, where would be path you will walk? Your long shadowed dream or the future of the family?

If you are being cared, you are not alone. when silent flows through here, nobody f*cking cares about you and believes in you !! Because they will never support you and look down upon you!!

Keep movin'

As life in degree of stinking university(you know who) continues, conflict always arises the same way like in foundation.

the conflict in assignments
the conflict in mid terms
the conflict in class
the conflict in finals - no wait, everyone was dead in finals

every person could have go through the hell between the friction in teammates.

this should be last week's post

for today:-

im sick and tired of my darn cupboard keep falling apart because of my heavy (armor)clothes so i decide to get a new one and set it my own.

it did succeeded fixing the damn thing, took me almost 2 hours PLUS cleaning my dusty room which looks like 500 years old untouched room.

:sigh: it was hell of tiresome work but i gotta keep moving for tutorials.

god my mouth hurts...

Should everyone knew, Micheal Jackson the king of pop passed away, radio full of his pop songs making me popping my brain into pop corns.